The crocodile critic

There is an obvious line between being critical, analyzing and pondering the negatives of an ideology, a movie, music, point of views, ethics, standards and work, and an individual.
When you start to attack or scrutinize someones character, who they naturally are, their authentic way of being and living, you begin to enter the realm of masochism.
If you find it difficult to see the awesome and beautiful in the true soul of a friend, lover etc, and always revolve your words around what is wrong with them, and how they should be or act,
Maybe you dont deserve the company of that person.
If the main component of a relationship is seeing supposed flaws and faults in someones personality and presentation, it is time to question why you feel such an ardent necessity to pick someone apart.
To manage and encourage that they should be someone they never have been and never will be,
To act like a sculptor with a chisel that chips away the parts of a person they dont have the capacity to find charming and loveable,
To be like a painter wanting to erase and recreate the structure of the subject in front of them.

There is a huge difference of being skeptical towards ideas, products, likes and dislikes, work, society, politics, philosophy, trends and the likes and those close in your life.
When you cant make the seperation, and the usually critical voice is cast upon the personality and inherent soul of those in your life, the time has come to transmute your limited perceptions of grace and beauty.
People are who they are, always, and this post is meant as a reminder to recgonize where it can be right to be overtly critical, and where it isnt always right.

    Dont make the black cloud your best friend

When never able to see the silver lining, the potential good and rewarding that comes from possibly draining and tiresome efforts and situations, we are rarely able to go to that destination we crave for.
When the mind is always fixated upon the things you deem unpleasant, tiresome, straining, not jiving with what you wish you were doing.
It becomes difficult to mitigate the current spot you find yourself in and focus on what you deem attractive components on life.
If the supposedly bad is all you can see, it can remain as a dark cloud that is prolonged and overwelcomes it stays even when finding yourself in the most amazing circumstance and dreamy happenings. There can be a tendency to make such states a tiresome companion wherever you go. 
It can be difficult to see the end results of an action when being caught in it and thus unable to see the woods for the trees, there can be a tendency to dwell and remain stuck in an unfortunate stat of mind.
If you only expect sorrows for the future, only see mishaps in the present, only recognize faults in the past, surely, nothing but hopelessness remains.
If you dont see the silver lining, the potential of what awaits, the necessity of clumsy actions and words, and believe that good is never within reach, the mind pollutes many moments from being felt with fervor and glee.
The pollution is not always as easy to cough out as one might think, when one is accustomed to it and barely reacts to its detrimental effects anymore.
Few moments are transformed into pleasantries, few meetings transformed into mutual ease and pleasure and few situations of a kind smell feel welcoming when the mind is used to delving in a dark cave.
When always anticipating that something unfortunate might happen,
When always waiting for your fears to be realized,
Believing that the outcome of most happenings will result in a potentially sorrow-ladden future,
It quickly becomes difficult to enjoy anything at all.
So dont allow that fear in less desirable moments follow you elsewhere, it is still fear in its primordial  form. The future is never an absolute certainity, it is always flowing and changing, and no one can truly predict it. So dont walk around with fatalistic predictions for the present and future,
Replace it with whatever makes you feel less burdened, stressed out, less afraid.
Find the remedy, and drink the organic juice.
Know when to drop all minor annoyances, all stifling trivialities, all annoying doubts and fears, to stop imagining everything that could go wrong,
And just let life speak for itself without interruption.

         Being yourself:

We all hear simple quotes such as being yourself readily spoken by many, as if the self is a fixed operative that reacts and thinks in the same way no matter the situation and people you come across.
The self is in constant motion, always riding a wave of new water, not isolated, but in the company of others.
Some we might feel more comfortable saying whatever pops up into our mind, while with others we use more tact and precision before allowing the consciouss words to be spoken.
Being yourself, in a sense means not over-regulating, not halting the natural reactions and emotions you have when dancing with life. Not second guessing your own responses to ideas, people, places and the impressions they naturally have on you.
We are our authentic self in all moments in a sense.. Whether it be reserved or outgoing, our natural reaction and instinct is not something that can be taken away from us, and thus, we are always ourselves every step we take.
To not block our own intuition and foresight, that which offers us information unique to ourself. 
Not denying yourself of welcoming of the new and unexpected, due to the fear of how it can impact you and make you respond. To build walls to block what you consider undesireable aspects of yourself from appearing. To be okay with how you feel and act, without scrutiny and over analyzing.
Meaning if you feel tired at work, you do not fight your own state, fight with it feverently until it has been replaced with an emotion that you believe would be more fitting to the situation at hand.
Being yourself means if found in company you feel shy, you recognize that sensation as being okay, trusting your inner self enough to accept that moment.
Not to thrust the focus excessively inwards, whipping yourself for not operating in a state you deem more correct by a nagging voice that tells you what is more appropriate.
If in company of a person of special importance to you, allowing your authentic states to shine through, reflected in the mood, actions, feelings and words without modification and objection to the flow of oneself.

If this applies to oneself, then it also applies to others. Do not act discrimminatory to the reactions of others, how they feel, percieve and express themselves in regards to you and others.
Do not play the game of he should have felt that way, reacted this way, spoken those words,
Done that instead of this.
If something causes an aversion in you, an attraction, glee or contempt, just go with the flow of it all.
We are all involved in the mixing of elixirs and potions, one substance reacting to another.
Being part of the alchemy of life, searching for the different flavors and recipes resulting in constant experimentation and wonder.
What works well, how much spice is too much, when is there enough sugar in the bowl, we all react differently to the process and the results.
If the inner voice tells you to be tactful, vary, discreet and cautious, do not block the message from being recieved. All aspects of ourselves, are part of us, like a tree, no branches and leaves shall be circumsized and forced to die,
Some branches naturally wither, some leaves fall off before entering fall, but to grab a saw at every occassion and cut off the branches and leaves every day, is bound to leave the tree in a sorry state. Let yourself, just like nature and the signs they offer, be the guide.
Do not be stuck in worrying about the perceptions of others, how they react to what you bring into the world,  trust that your inner knowledge of what is good and beautiful and appropriate, is bountiful due to the life you have accumulated.

     Real trumps Fake

You should not feel the need to feign your own interests, likes, opinions and perspective for others.
If you dont like a specific person, you can accept that fact without engaging in an inner battle.
If you dont have an interest in certain topics, its okay to lack interest without telling oneself one should enjoy the content.
If  something doesnt capture the mind and the body, just let the mind and body be at peace with that.
Be at peace with natural instincts, thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
When the outer persona, never matches and acts in harmony with what goes on inside,
It can cause great stress and turmoil to the self.
When we feel the need to project ourself in ways that contradict who we truly are,
Wen we feel the need to speak words and engage in actions that we deep inside know are false to who we really are, and fails to elevate us.
When we try to enforce strict rules and regulations of how our emotions should be like,
How we should act in certain situations based on percieved expectations, that do not match how we naturally are.
Do not be caught in a life where you feel like you have to pretend around every corner.
When our natural, genuine, authetnic being is so lost, so hard to grab a hold of, that everything we do is nothing more than a projection of how we think we should be.
When fake words become the norm, when disingenous smiles is all we can muster, when half-assed actions is all we dare to do.
When what we truly like, who we truly are, how we truly feel, is always kept inside, afraid to be allowed natural and genuine expression,
We lose track of everything that is real.
Its okay to excuse yourself from situations you do not like,
Okay to cordially disengage with those you do not feel happy around,
Its okay to respectfully say ones true words and meanings,
And most importantly, it is okay to recognize what makes you happy, and what doesnt.
Okay to recognize and honor what you do like, and to be fortright with what you dont.
To take those things seriously, to listen to the soul and what our needs and wants are,
To honor those we love, and that which we love.

Of course, everything is situational, no two moments ever being the same, and we might like on thing  in one person we cant stand in another. Just go with the flow without overthinking your own nature running its course. Everything has consequences of course, and your actions and words will have some form of impact. So the situational principle and reacting in various ways accordingly, is okay. Do what feels natural and authentic as the moment and situations present themselves. If it reflects the true reaction and sensations in that moment.
Just be aware of the fact when your inner authenticity and natural self seems to be slipping away in a maze of could, should and would. Do not believe that fakeness should be the principle, when realness should be your guide. Just remember to respect the freedom and liberty of others, and that of yourself.
When your likes involves robbing others of their genuine self, putting others in chains of restriction and robbing their life of its adventures and gifts. Then some regulations are in order, for your own good and others. If your life is a never ending crusade to kill the joy and the spirit of liveliness in others, Heavy modificaton must take place.
Be yourself, and let others be as well.

     Losing sovereignity

When you yearn so desperately for others to see you in a good light,
Nothing more important than the approval and faultless recpetion others might have of you.
It is time to start asking question.
When always trying to convey a good image, a happy life, a successful home, a grand bank account, a myriad of friends and associates, a super hectic schedule, and being hellbent on letting everybody know just how well you master this thing called life, you might not have so much mastery after all.
Always reminding others of how much you have accumulated, exhibiting your possesions and wealth like a trophy child to gather the applause from those you encounter.
Their supposed admiration, respect and awe being the sole reason or existing.
Always keeping a so called perfect facade, never letting anyone see past the rigidly constructed exterior you devote all your time and energy to manage.
Never doing, saying or acting in ways that you think might garner dissaproval, that goes slightly outside of the invisible prison of normality, standards and appropriateness.
Never daring to loosen up, because some might talk the next day,
Never daring to wear a flamboyant piece of clothing, due to the fear of being seen as over the top,
Never saying anything shocking, because others might react,
Never doing anything unexpected, that would drive you into a frenzied scare of the unknown and the unknown you like to keep at bay,
Never going off the heavily trodden path, scared that others might leave you,
Never allowing anyone a glimmer of your true emotions, that would sacrifice others well established and fixed opinion of you.

Those that whimpishly mold themselves, create themselves, build themselves, to please the eyes of the onlooker and associates. Those that sheepishly follow unspoken rules of behavior and thought, terrified of slightly showing any independent or creative aspects.
The perception of others being more important than their own happines, the happines they can contribute to others, the memories and moments spent with loved ones, such is not important unless it can be shared and admired by some. The realness of life shut down, a pathetic book or ideals of superiority, deciding their every step.
Scares of following own joy, what truly elevates them, what they really want, scared of living, scared of dying, scared of anything that goes beyond, their mind being like a narrowly defined street where they can never take unexpexted turns.
If a picture perfect state of life, written by the societal underlying expectations others strive for is seen as the golden rule, the indisputable truth, the only thing you deem correct.
You might want to reconsider, to eveluate if it really is so great after all.
A prison comes in many forms, and being a slave to the approval, good thoughts and words, and thumbs up of others is the only thing you allow yourself to exentuate and propogate in your life.
You might want to start searching for a key.

    Make your own truth come true

We all have dreams, wishes, hopes and aspirations in varying degrees and how they might look like.
When speaking of dreams,
Societal rules has indoctrinated us to believe they must revolve around career, financial matters, success, climbing the corporate ladder. If one cares little of such things, others might believe one is devoid and lacking in dreams and ambitions, nothing the individual wants to manifest into reality,
No true desires beating within their hearts.
Such is not the case, we all have an inner mind, where certain things are highlighted and shine brighter than others. Some are always at the front row in a theater, making them extra apparent and distinguishable. Seeing the clear outline, wanting to touch the luminous hopes that we hope to materiallize. Feel with all senses, expereince, know, see and touch.
We can have 10 most glowing wishes, not defined by an order of how much we want them to come true. While for others, there is one yearning hope, one or two specific goals their inner being cant seem to ignore.
The dreams that are too beautiful to be denied, that which our focus always reverts back to, teasing and tantalizing us with its grand appeal and charisma. A light so bright, it is even found in the pitch black woods late at night, its glow always luring us to chase it.
No one should be denied their right to chase their dreams, whether they take the form of a person, a desire for a partner, a desire for a best friend, a desire for harmony and love, a desire for talent, a desire for the perfect house, a desire to unwind and relax, a desire to eat good food, a desire to innovate, a desire to be ones authentic self, a desire to travel.
Unless of course it involves inflicting pain and hurting others, that goes without saying. A therapist is then in order.
The hopes are never defineable or easily explained by rationality and logic, or something that should be dismayed as mere trivialities.
What we long for, is always important, always something to recognize and engage with. That would kill our drive, our reason to live, and is much like senpoku, because without it, we strive for nothing, work for nothing, persevere for nothing, fight for nothing. without the glowing lights within, we become a dark alleyway where only drunkards go to piss. Our soul knows what it truly wants, and the soul makes those things dance gracefully in our mind, as if part of a grand ballett. Do not let others tell you how your hopes should look like, what actions to take, and be dictates by what others see as appropriate for you.
Our wishes can sometimes be stability, longevity, as I said earlier, it can also be states of mind, unions where something specific comes to fruition.
The dreams on the front row, are always in fluctuation and constant movement, changing seasonly and perhaps eclipsed by a new beaming thought in moments of reallization of what we truly want.
We can regulate and modify our wishes, see the reality of our lives, and what is within our reach as possibilities to occur, striving and longing for the impossible we subconsciously know is lightyears beyond our reach, can be seen as foolish. Perhaps when dreaming of the impossible, it is a safe haven, an excuse to go not after what is actually possible. Because the courage may be lacking,
Or the the hopes simply are not burning bright enough,
The dreams something we can easily contain due to the flames lacking in intnsity. A small match, instead of a grand fire.
It is the intensity of the wishes that dictate our moves, how we walk and where. Is it strong enough, the inner willpower will easily get there
Some are easier to obtain, others require more effort, but nonetheless, equally valid. Sometimes they are not realistic or meant to happen, then it is wise to shift our focus elsewhere.
Nor are they always how we imagined, thus one must remember to be flexible, not too rigid and stern in the fixed expectations, to sometimes be vague of how we see things. And to accept them as they come, and still be grateful and appreciative that we were surprised or swept into different states and moments.

    Intimacy is Divine

Daring to be close to those special in your life,
Not taking their presence and unique light for granted.
Those who see others as mere instruments of temporary gratification, whether it be through amusement, reckless fun, pleasure, laughter, support, an unfulfilled need. To have others be an active part of their life only when satisfying shallow needs and wants.
Readily to be cast aside and forgotten when the individual no longer serves them the food they selfishly craved.
Such people are superficial, they do not see the value and glowing beauty of promises, longevity, commitment, lasting resolutions, unbreakable bonds and graceful acceptance of others.
Their faces turn scornful, judgemental and haughty by the first sign of essential truth in others,
Sadness being a state they resist in others, the first presence of gloom and insecurity makes them pack their bags and run, a single mistake enough to justify withdrawal, grumpiness and frustration not something they ever want to understand the reason for in others.
Once the shallow souls see such traits in friends, lovers, aquaintances, confidants or whatever it may be, they deem themselves far above such states, experiencing so called less desirable facets of others makes them run for the hills.
Hoping that on such a hill, they can find more jovial, fun, thrilling people to entertain them briefly,
But once the people they see as toys no longer are of amusement, they put them in a black box and bring forth the locks, tossing the key in a faraway ocean.
Such childish people never truly cared for those present in their lives, they simply had a vague purpose to fulfill, knowing deep down that the only person they truly care, is themselves, being so enamored and in love with themselves, that they have no room to love others.
Others only being toys to keep the preoccupied in moments of boredom, in moments where they seek company, in moments where they feel in need of some gratification.
Daring to be close to someone, means seeing they are intrinsically worthy, loveable, perfect,
Even when they might cause irritations and inconveniences to your life.
To stick by them, work through challenges and disagreements, even when they become slightly heavy to bear.
To see their light, even when caught in despair and grieveances, to dig deeper, and try to offer support and understanding, even when they act unreasonable and confusing.
That is not taking someone for granted, that is appreciating their soul and the gift of their unique presence.
Knowing that feeling overlooked, ignored, underappreciated, forgotten and used, is enough to make someone ignore your calls. To not reply to the invitatjon when the user wants a quick laugh or fill the slot in a chair and to not only be a mere pawn to fill the space at a party.
Their presence made to feel unsignificant, unimportant, unless they only display emotions and behaviors the user enjoys.
Did the user ever move past the superficial, the surface levels, the initial impression, or did the user never want to in the first place.
Do not take those you love for granted, because the status of a user is not honorable nor something to be proud of. Free will rules, use it with tact and grace.

  The hopeless puppeteer

Having the desire that life should be like a pathetic puppet theater where those close to you act according to your whims and wishes, is a complete travesty.
The secret longing that those in your life should be mere spectators, encouraging your every move, giving applause for every mistake, to never be in opposition to how you imagine life should play out.
Those who wish to have the role as a puppetmaster,
Nudging the strings of those attached to his/her fingers, while overlooking with watchful and discriminatory eyes how the play unfolds. Carefully planning and orchestrating the moves of those around them to always result in instant gratification for the puppeteer.
Never allowing the creativity, free will, individuality and actions of those around him/her, to be an integral part of the equation.
Not seeing the beauty in surprises, not seeing the joy of the unexpected, not encouraging others to think and live in accordance with the beauty of their core, not trusting anyone to take charge and direction, not appreciating the opinions and values of others as special.
To the person with such a mindset, life is undoubtedly doomed to be boring, uneventful, predictable, straining and filled with nothing but the totally expected, because the unexpected is not allowed entrance into the personal sphere of said person.
The bubble is filled with restrictions, not allowing any room for change and growth, having resorted to building a weak fort, fiercely guarding against anything that might come as a challenge or call for spontaneity.
Being so callous and rigid in his/hers approach to life, that a single form of rebellion and freedom in others, is enough to break the seemingly strong branches attached to the tree. Where the unexpected actions and words of those close, throws the puppeteer into a raging toddler demanding that the puppets be arranged as he wishes.
That the puppets should wear the clothes deemed appropriate to the toddler, that the puppets should sing the hymns and praises of devotion to his plans and desires, that the puppets should only be allowed to recite the poorly written scripts assigned to them, and to never leave the strings attached to his fingers, and go out on explorations and adventures on their own. To always remained chained to the small stage, never veering in another direction. A steel grip of desperation on reality, a sad howl of repressed entitlement.
The toddler not seeing that the puppets he believed he had dominion over, always were free, while he/she was enslaved to the ideal of a reality he could control.
Allow freedom, allow the creative spark in others, love and always be to the best of your own abilties to inspire kindness and joy.

  Authenticity liberates

Appreciating the people, moments, places, situations that allow your authentic self to shine through.
Where different aspects of your inner being, are allowd to have free expression,
Without constant modification, adjustements and restrictions.
The authentic self always longs to break free, the uninhibited and lively parts of ourself, that is allowed to be shown, felt and known by those you feel are recipients and welcoming to who you really are.
We often have to put on the behavior expected and required of us to fit in with certain people and groups. If that behavior is breached, and a crossing which resulted in inner aspects of yourself to appear that some might deem innapproriate, we quickly have to make an adjustement.
There are also those we allow some true aspects of ourself be known, while witholding others,
And that is fine as well. We cannot live out all parts of ourself in all moments and places,
And some find outlet at certain times, while others lay dormant, and remains unexpressed with certain people due to not sensing it to be the right person or time,
But there is still that part of yourself that feels unfulfilled perhaps. Although we should strive to be as authentic as possible, to let our natural instincts and words to reflect ourselves at most times, such is not always possible, however.
There are those we can find, surround ourselves with, where such adjustements are not necessary,
Where you can live as much as you like, love the way you truly love, dance the way you dance when alone, speak the words you seldom share, and let the true emotions that arise within be known.

Fnding those precious people, where the authenticity and the realness within you and them shine brightly and unhinged by the locks one normally places on the self.
Is worth more than all the diamonds and jewels in the world.
In the company and celebration of joy where the inner and outer self is always rejoicing,
Feeling like it has finally found a home it is truly comfortable in.
I believe it to be important to validate, appreciate and love any opportunity and person, that allows you such splendid freedom, those that see the full complicated spectrum of yourself, and wants to be an active participant in your life and you in theirs. Having seen the colors of your soul reflected in the water and finds it to be worthy of love and acceptance.
There are always varying degrees of how much we show, what we show, what we hide and conceal, and how we show it. To most, it is relatively dimmed, perhaps somewhat calculated and formulaic,
Although moments of realness can always take place, and it always does unintentionally,
That is important to recognize.
Being stuck with people and situations where the authentic self never truly comes to light,
Where one has to be tactful and deliberate, can be truly crippling in every way possible for the self.
To walk through life, never letting anyone see the feathers that a proud and colorful peacock might display. Always feeling the need to resteict the self, believing the feathers on its back to be a nuisance, shameful, and not worthy of an exhibit.
There are perhaps few we dare to show the deepest self, the most exuberant self, the saddest self, those we can show ourselves naked and bold to.
When they do appear, love life for giving you such a opportunity, love them. For such can be a rare occurence. Those unique allignments with others where one or more can be free, those rare places where a sense of total peace and bliss, permiates through every step.
Permission, surrender and flow, where your freedom to be authentic is not situational.