Seeing life in terms of mathematical equations

Sometimes it is easy to become trapped by our own convictions of how life is, how others see it, what fits and what doesnt fit. As if we are dealing with the pages of our school books of the past, reading through the mathematical books where we had to find only one answer, the right numbers, the correct set-up to arrive at the one and only answer the textbook urged you to pursue. People are not numbers, situations are not statistics that never change, in life there are always plenty variables. Millions of unseen and unexpected results. 

Thinking we can only fit into a certain group if we act and behave in specific ways, just like the school books with definitive answers told us. If we stray somewhat from the constructed formula, we cannot fit into the equation, we are to be self-erased until finding and expressing ourselves in a manner that is congruent with the situation at hand. 

The logistics, science and math we must learn, subconsciously takling it to heart, that two people of varying personality, are, occupation and expression, will undoubtedly lead to a clashing of elements that cannot be harmonized. We can begin to think in such ways ourselves, sometimes leading to painful thoughts of our place in this world, looking at ourselves and others, and believing that there is no redeeming factor that can unite the two or three because of big or small differences. We are all different, unique and one of a kind, to varying degrees, when we believe the differences to be too great, we can miss out on a lot of opportunities to expand and see life from a different lense. When we avoid certain situations, places, people and experinces, just because we believe it to be something that cannot possibly unified or co-exist without problematic and worrying results. A fault in the highly praised system if there is a slight deviation of what we have come to expext. That certain people should by default gravitate towards a limited range of places and people, and if pulled in an unexpected direction, we can tend to readily point fingers and try to place him/her where we believe he/she belongs and should be, based on the subtle and overt teachings of our past. 

Thinking that only the chinese can live in a house inspired by chinese architecture, that only those with 3 masters degrees can be smart,  if not, believing there must be some kind of a glitch in the supposed perfect computer system that deals in absolutes, and always ready to generate a correct answer when we need it to. A fictional computer that has foreseen all the possible outcomes, variations to whatever we may type. And if there is a suggestion of  multitude of ways, we bang the computer on the table saying there can only be one, that a virus has infested the harddrive and thus it is not processing properly. When thinking and acting in such ways, we become much like robots and comouters ourself, maybe one can be an openminded individual instead.

Shutting doors, not going out, because we believe the DNA of our souls to be immediately shunned or cast away within certain spheres and bubbles of energy, thus not even bothering to visit or check it out. Well, there is always that unknown element of which we cannot predict, and knowing that there will always be an element of surprise present, we can rule out the ideal that things must fit like tetris blocks to be seen as a viable option. That person x can only hang around y, i or f individuals, that the number 2 is always best friends with 4, that Johnny must slice the pie in 8 pieces for his 4 guests to be satisfied. Maybe one of the guests wasnt hungry, or perhaps allergic to pepperoni. 

Turning life into a malignant competitive sport of superiority complexes 

When our motives are fueled by the need to feel better than others, outrank them so to speak, we might have a problem. In life we are often fed top 10 lists of what is best, who are the greatest, what to do in order to rank higher and perform better than our friends or a random person minding his own business. An ubermench stasis that has not been relinquished, a relic from aeons ago that enforces us to believe that there is an actual caste system where we find ourselves and are given a number or status either seen as good or bad, something to be produkter of or embarrased by, something to honor or defile, somwehere we are allowed to feel content or pressured to feel like a failure. Who are seen as the strongest or weakest, whatever! Who gives a fuck about such tepid and unnessescary questions. 

Some people, wittinlgy or not take this to an extreme degree, where they indulge in sports, life, social gatherings, events, school, parties, simply to make themselves grander in their own eyes than what others are. Some people even use intimacy, chance encounters, creativity, chipsen profession, house, living situation and travel to spark the flames of the Notion that doing this or that will grant them the right to place higher on the constructed pyramid. Maybe one should instead try to be motivated to do good, contribute, makes others feel good, makes ourself feel good, be motivated to enrich, be creators of something sweet and cute, instead of swallowing everything around us to feed the ego, without giving anything back. 

What actually happens when most of our living and breathing moments is an endless chase to belittle others by trying so desperately to put them below us. When you need to stand on top of others to feel good, you obvioualy have an easily shaken ego that constantly searches for inwards validation, that for some reason never seems to arrive.A bottomless pit of shallow gratifications, that never gives you the peace you long for. 

When we compare ourselves to others, and are unjustly motivated to outdo them, outrank them just to feel a little better, the time has come to perhaps reconsider and try to find other motivations to our actions. If we work out just to reach a place we can look down on others, work hard in our careers just to feel like we have an advantage over others, travel to places just to boast about having experienced more, garner friends just to feel like we have the most, we are not being authentic with ourselves nor others. Living a lonely lie where we meticulously place others in the rankings box, assign numbers based on percieved accomplishments, look at some with distasteful scorn, while others the target of envy. 

A fragile ego that never dances with life to seek, find, love, experince, see, hear and participate, but rather choses to base and percieve everything as a perilious competition. Never acknowledging that others are fine as they are, and this never feeling fine themselves, because there is always something to do to feel more powerful and enviable. Hopping to live a life where others honor them, whilst still looking to the reaches of the sky to find someone they can surpass. The stars and universe only giving a blank response, an empty statement in return to the ones who pledge to be a force to control others. 

Overemphasis on a static and unchanging life resulting in personal loss

We can all have our likes and dislikes, something we prefer over another, who we naturally are on a day to day basis, going with the flow of our own being in kind harmoni with others.

When we are to set in our ways, overexerting ourselves in one or two spesifikke direktivets, and shutting all other options out, we can become trapped in the patterns we have set for ourselves.

When we actively shun something we are not used to, and only partane in that which we know very well, and have decided beforehand that we are too good for, or it simply is not okay for us. 

We can try to break free, and see that we do not only have to cherish, value and allow two dancing  emotions and deem other below us or as something deragatory. The same goes for other stoff as well, when we only with to partake in a specific setting tailored to the limited scope of what we allow, only giving certain people a chance, only trying out one sports activity, only using two colors in the box, only travelling to the same place at the same time, because we have convinced ourselves it is the only viable option to satisfy the confines of our experience.

Thinking happines can only be fouund in one place, with no rom for mutability or an element of surprise, that contentment is what we are used to doing, that the right and good is what we are used to and nothing else can compare in terms of value and quality. 

An element of judgement of others and other aspects of life can also quickly show up when we have shut most doors, believing the blueprint we hold and follow to be undisputable and perfect. 

Locked in the same room, with the same energies, environment and perspective, with a refusal to consider something else, within ourselves and around us. We have seen the depressive results of such ideologies and operatives throughout history and in current times, with no variety or diversity of life and individuality present. So try something new, consider a different alternative, be open to what may come, have a balance between all the shades, shapes and lines in the pictures you paint. Instead of limiting oneself to using only blue and green, with and yellow, and instead see what happens when you intertvine these colors and put them together. Try different notes to your melody, fluctuating lyrics that dare to explore unseen avenues of your mind. Limiting ourselves to only seeing one country, and possibly thinking with time there also only exists one country, is not leading to balance.

Instead of breaking the boundaries we rigidly adhere to, and step outside of what we have constructed as our reality which we can believe is far too perfect to need change.

Thinking the slightest change must have sier consequences for ourselves, that the most miniscule upheavel or change of trajectory in course of action in life or others, must be immediately rectified and brought back to its supposed authentic state. If there is something that feels or looks or in actually is different, it must be a sign of worsened conditions or somehow damaging. A change of tone, a change of furniture, somehow misplaced if slightly moved to the left or right. 

If our schedules and time is needed elsewhere, transforming and causing us to be elsewhere and partake in different activities, we somehow react with rampunge fear as if an earthquake is happening below our feet. 

The pointlessness of self-defilement

there can come a point in our life where we say enough is enough with constant self-criticism and judgement of the inherent beauty that has always been there, but has been subjected to enormous amounts of beatings and belittling.

The cause of self-defilement can be many, but when looking at oneself from a clear point of view, one begins to realize the futility of such harmful indulgence. One only needs to look at countries where every act, every spoken word, all expressions, are shunned, banished, defiled, scrutinized and damned. It quickly becomes like a wild-fire, where the people are so dissatisfied with themselves, that they literally begin to lash out, often in the shape of a whip, unto others. Even going as far as throwing others in jail, for such simple things such as loving another human being. The defilement of others, taking on such an extreme form of expression that there is nothing left but anger, violence, injustice, corruption and fear, due to the constant judgement of the self and others.

We can trace the harm far back, and see how those who are the victims of constant criticism, starts to turn the mourning eye outwards when they have had enough of looking inwards, and spiral into a damaging circle where the criticism that was once directed towards themselves, now must find and outlet and thus new victims are born. 

Nothing of any real good is found when a person is feeling so low. so used to having a dislike for themselves, so accustomed to only singing harmful hymns. The consequences can manifest itself in a variety of ways, and cause damage in unseen places and situations.

Since the ego and inside of the person is so frail. so unstable, without a solid core that they can lean on, all actions and reactions further induces an inwards beating so severe, that they can become totally crippled and left to wither without any lust for life. 

Keeping appearances together can be tough, when there is a constant battle within, telling the individual he/she is never good enough, and that there is always something that can be different, better, more refined or elevated. 

In countries and communities where such thinking is the norm, we often see unpredictable acts of violence and crimes of various sorts, because there is always something wrong that needs to be rectified, either within themselves, or in others. No natural expression of genuine flow allowed, and hysteria and massive levels of paranoia ensues due to the impossible expectations of a rigid false perfection they have set for themselves.

It is different thing when we try to do good and offer of ourselves what we can to indulge in a joyous dance of life. When our self-perception always relies on how we are percieved, how we perform, how we look, what we do and do not do, it is bound to waver. Nothing in life is static, and we are all bound to experience the changes of flow and destiny around us, but when every wave we ride causes our inner core to be unbalanced, shifted and cast into all kinds of directions, perhaps it is a sign that our sense of self needs to find other ways to be defined. When we define sense of self-worth based on how are percieved, and where we find ourself in life, and what we have and dont have, a true inner trust is lacking. An inner trust in the self, that we are of equal value, that we are just as good and perfect, even though we feel things should be different. That we do not need to base the image we have of ourselves, on monetary situations, how much we have, what we have accumulated, what we deem as great accomplishments, but instead trying to be fine and okay with what we see in the mirror, and what we feel of ourselves, despite society telling us otherwise. 

To build a strong sense of self, that is always there, not in constant competition with others, that cannot be easily swayed and turn into a sad reflection of the minds eye. 

To know that one is good enough, perfect enough, always has been and always will be, no matter how life might look. how others might percieve you, no matter in what walk of life you currently find yourself. To ride the wave of life, without letting it drown you.
to let go of the perfectionist that never sees anything as good enough, always something to be rectified, and replace it with fearless contentment. even though one has grown accustomed to the opposite.
The perfectionist will never be satisfied, constantly hungry, never full, always looking, never finding.

like insane religious sects and cults of smaller and larger proportions, that is so hell bent on casting scorn and violent screams on anything and everything they find it hard to accept, causing intense paranoia and feverish hatred that causes them to be alienated from life, and from themselves, feeling nothing but hollow hatred when knowing that everything that they want, they have denied, everything about themselves and others they wish to feel, they have erased. thus left with nothing but empty sensations, and being totally removed and far away from anything that resembles life. Only being left with death, due to encouraging the death of what is in truth beautiful. A manic zealot of insane proportions that would rather go starving for water in a dessert, because it does not come from the only spring he/she deems good enough. Like a traveller freezing to death in the arctic, due to refusing to wear any clothing that provides warmth, because it is not fashionable enough.
Like a lifeless participant in life, never going out, due to nobody meeting his/hers impossible criteria, thus left to their own devices in a cold and desolate area where everything is blocked from entering.
Nothing being good enough, not within oneself, not in others, because the person has been taught to be critical through constant indoctrination, and the spring of life quickly vanishing, due to a weird illusion that the water is not pure enough.
never expressing oneself without fearful constraint that taints the expression that just wants to be set free, the soul. Not allowing others to fly, because the wings are not of a specific pattern or color.

One quickly begins to see the lame stupidity of self-defilement when one thinks about it.