mandag 2. mai 2016

The illusion of choice and opportunity

Some people teach that we can accomplish anything we want, be anyone we want, have everything we need, all it takes is hard work and perseverance. In the process, ignoring everything that has to do with ones upbringing, the people one has come on contact with, the opportunities and support some have been given while others not. Even denying the genetics we are born with, the brain and body, while delivering a message that anything is as long as you work hard and curb yourself to meet certain criteria to fit in. 
People seem to fortet that we all have a past that has shapes us, experinces that has molded us, and that we did not always have a say in every situations, or ability to create the desired outcome of a situation. Some people try to persuade us that whenever you might be, whenever you are, that it all was a matter of personal choice without any influnces outside of oneself that contributed to the reality we find ourselves in. That anything that happens to us, we are ourselves to blame, anything we are unable to do, we must only try harder, anything that is not given to us, was because of trivial indescretions such as presentation or lack of manners. 

It would be like saying anyone can be a model, when the industry has chosen a specific look to be featured tirelssly, like saying anyone can be rich, even of they grew up dirt poor with no educational backing or support from various sources. Like saying anyone can be a good chef at any times, when they were never given the opportunity to cook, that anyone can have a specific job, when they look for certain stereotypes to fit the part. If you did not get the results expected of you, some might say one was not the right candidate, while often, certain people are given a leg up because they are blonde or exude a certain energy or have certain facial featured that some might find appealing. 

To say that anyone can create anything for themselves is foolish, because our destiny is often decides by what others are willing to give, luck, upbringing, genes and environment. If we try to fool ourselves that such things do not matter, and always blame others for who they are, without taking into account the injustices or scrutiny they have encountered throughout. It is like saying that a little girl can only blame herself for her shyness, even though she might have had guardians who always told her to be quiet and never speak her mind, and then telling her that she only has herself to blame if she is afraid to socialize. It would be like telling an immigrant that he is expected to immediately change his behavior when arriving at a new country, even though he has a 40 years of life experience behind him that has shapes who he is, and for him to suddenly cast away all thoughts, beliefs and identity, as if it were easy. 

Those we speak on grand terms about creating ones own luck, often fall to recognize the natural advantages they might have had within certain places, and creating every good that has ever happened to them to themselves, and forget or ignore everything that simply came to them. Living in delusional grandeur about ones own importance. Crediting everything to their own name, while feiling to recognize that they simply had more supportive or nurturing environment that always helped them.

Or do we influence our own lives in a greater ways than we think? I do not know, but I do know we need more compassion for others in varying situations and at different places in their lives.